Beer. An incomplete A-Z

From ale to zymurgy, I've always wanted to put together an incomplete and under-researched A-Z of beer. So I'm going to. Just not necessarily in alphabetical order.

Mosler. GT Seasons

I once ran a fan site about this big, fat, grunty, hand-crafted-in-Cambridge GT racer. So I thought I'd keep tabs on the marque once more.

Photos: Snap

Sometimes there are times that So Need A Photo. I'm refining my photo skills and looking for that SNAP moment.

Food: a smorgasbord

If I'm not eating it, I'm thinking about it. Here's a rattle-bag of recipes, market visits, challenges and general gastronomic malarkey

Music: prattle and drum

I'm a drummer without a kit and a ukulele player with no sense of pitch. But I'm working on it. Painting a picture on silence. One beat / note at a time

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

The Right Not To Write

I used to be bought the Letts Schoolboy Diary every year as a Christmas stocking filer. January's became crammed with spidery text telling of snowball massacres, worm executions, tries almost scored and faint glimpses of teachers' cleavage.

By mid-February a pattern emerged: "Got up. Went to school. Came home. Had tea".

At an early age, I'd discovered the tyranny of a diary's expectation. How they mocked me with blank days passed by. "You want to be a writer?", they sneered. "You can't even find fifty words for a diary entry. Pah!".

One year, I asked for a voucher instead of the Letts. I bought a chunky A5 lined notebook. No dates, no boxes into which I'd have to shoehorn teenage angst or leave as a tribute to ennui.

My book. My rules.

Rule 1: The right not to write.

I stopped keeping a diary after my polytechnic years. I had nothing to say to myself.

Nowadays, I blog. I used to blog about whisky.  I still blog about beer. And occasionally I blog here. Not often. There's ideas... the menu bar suggests I'm writing about a real ragbag of stuff.

But, I'm not.

Why? Why go to the trouble of setting up a blog and hardly posting?

It's because I love choosing not to write.

Waking up in the morning - today it's blue sky and slight breeze all the way - I look over the shortening shadows on the lawn as blackbirds pretend to hunt worms and I rarely think to myself: I really want to fire up the laptop and spend the next thirty minutes in front of a keyboard. Because eight hours spent in front of one for my day-job really isn't long enough.

I could be writing about paradiddles or filters, fast cars or slow cooking.

Instead, as a writer, I'm revelling in something luxurious and self-indulgent.

The right not to write.


Feel free to point out that I have, of course, just spent half an hour in front of a laptop writing this. And, yes, I've sort of been here before

By Simon Johnson with 1 comment

Monday, 30 April 2012

365 Reasons To Be Proud To Be British: The Land Rover

April 30th 1948: The Land Rover Mk I debuts at the Amsterdam Motor Show.

Regular readers will know that I don't drive, have no intention of learning to drive and even if I did, have no intention of buying a car. That's what Mrs Scoop's little blue beer taxi sporty orange beer taxi is for.

But if I did.... if I really had to... there's only one car I'd choose. A Mosler MT900:



Except it wouldn't fit in the garage. So it'd have to be the Jaguar C-type:


















Except that wouldn't fir in the garage either. So it'd have to be a Land Rover. At least I could leave it parked in the road. It could get scraped and knocked and cow-splat-covered and burst-beer-barrel-drenched. And it would all add to its character.

Land Rovers feel to me as if they want to tell you their tales. Of ewes and daughters born in the back in a snowdrift. Of treks across plains or glens. Of how they made it to That Destination only after a hitch-hiker donated her knicker elastic.

There's something stoically romantic about a marque where the majority of those ever made are still running on the road, field and fell. Indomitable and stalwart. Maybe I ought to start building one by stealth. I'd have to clear some room in the shed though. Especially if I want to build one like this:



















By Simon Johnson with No comments

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

365 Reasons To Be Proud To Be British: The Royal Academy Summer Exhibition



April 25th 1769: The Royal Academy's first Summer Exhibition opens in a Pall Mall warehouse.

Something really tickles me about the RA's Summer Exhibition. Maybe it's that anyone can enter; stump up a £25 quid entrance fee and your work could adorn the walls alongside the great and the good and the painting-by-numbers of British art. A great way of getting your name noticed, getting your work sold for a fair commission, being part of such a celebration.

Your prints or photos or etchings or sculpture sharing space with the likes of Hockney, Gormley or Wearing.

Maybe I like it because of the planned-to-look-random nature of how canvasses seem spread eclectically; ordered clutter, organised chaos.

Maybe one day, maybe this year, I'll go take a look and be tempted to buy. Maybe one day, maybe next year, I'll find the courage of my convictions and enter.

Photo (c) Getty Images

By Simon Johnson with No comments

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

365 Reasons To Be Proud To Be British: The Pennine Way


April 24th 1965: The last section of the long-distance trail, the Pennine Way, opens at Malham Moor.

Many walkers who like peat between their cleats will have faced up to the challenge of the 267-mile, 249-stiled walk. They will have a favourite section, one that lives long in the memory. For me, it's Kinder Downfall to Edale. It's the only section I've ever walked. It's the only section I ever plan to walk. And only if I can walk it downhill.

And it was on this day in 1932 that the Kinder Trespass took place. A political act; organised by the Communist-led British Workers' Sports Federation in protest at how rich landowners prevented public access to the countryside. Established ramblers' groups opposed the trespass, but further widespread action took place. Within years, such actions had engaged thousands of walkers to take to the Peaks, leading to the formation of the Ramblers Association and the lobbying that would herald the introduction of our National Parks.

Including the Peak District. If you haven't yet had the pleasure of following even a smidgen of the Pennine Way in the Peaks, congratulations! You now have something to add to your to-do list this summer.


"There's pleasure in dragging through peat bogs and bragging
Of all the fine walks that you know;
There's even a measure of some kind of pleasure
In wading through ten feet of snow.
I've stood on the edge of the Downfall,
And seen all the valleys outspread,
And sooner than part from the mountains,
I think I would rather be dead"

'The Manchester Rambler', Ewan McColl



Photo of Kinder Low (c) David Hayes on Flickr


By Simon Johnson with No comments

Monday, 23 April 2012

365 Reasons To Be Proud To Be British: St George's Day


April 23rd: England celebrates the feast day of Saint George.

To be honest, it's not something that all Brits celebrate. St. Patrick's day may be an excuse to dress like a twonk and drink over-nitrogenated stool-water masquerading as dry stout; St. George's Day tends to lead to head-scratching as what to do. After all, many are unclear as to how a Roman soldier who was born in Syria Palaestina and died a Christian martyr in Turkey became the patron saint not only of England but of over another dozen countries.

Well, Christian martyrdom and popular veneration made Saint George the figure he is today. Poor Saint Edmund was edged out as England's patron saint in the fourteenth century, possibly because George wasn't connected by legend to England and associated neither to a particular guild nor location.

A man of principle and belief, unafraid to stand up for what he believed in, venerated by Christians and Muslims alike. I'd say that was good cause to celebrate.


By Simon Johnson with No comments

Thursday, 19 April 2012

365 Reasons To Be Proud To Be British: The Oxford English Dictionary

April 19th 1928: The last section of A New English Dictionary on Historical Principles is published.

Show me the adolescent who insists they haven't looked up a rude word in a dictionary and I'll show you someone who "speaks untruthfully with intent to mislead or deceive".

Released in sections over four decades, "A New English Dictionary on Historical Principles" was immediately reprinted and renamed the "Oxford English Dictionary".

In the pre-internet days, if you didn't understand a word you looked it up in a big papery thing tied together with string. I carried a dictionary around with me all my school days. I still have several; general ones from Oxford and Collins dotted around the house, specialist ones, foreign ones. I still love sticking my nose into them at random and finding words, birds, cities or citizens that I've never heard of.

For me, dictionaries are never a means to an end. They're the first step on a broader learning journey.

So, with due reference to Edmund Blackadder, I'd like to thank the OED and offer them my most enthusiastic contrafribularities.



By Simon Johnson with No comments

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

365 Reasons To Be Proud To Be British: Extreme Ironing

April 18th 2011: Jason Blair irons a shirt on the southbound carriageway of the M1.



As a measure of British eccentricity /our general desire to bugger around, extreme ironing is right up there with toe-wrestling and lilo rafting. It was invented by rock climber Phil 'Steam' Shaw in 1997 and has seen boards taken up mountains, beneath oceans and, uh, into the middle lane of a motorway. Albeit one that was closed. So perhaps not that extreme, really.

On a moving coach, in a lion's den, at the fiery end of an oil rig, on the North Korean border. They all sound far more extreme.

Or there's the ultimate. Iron five work shirts in the gap between the end of the regional news and the start of Match Of The Day on a Saturday night. Hardcore ;-)


By Simon Johnson with No comments

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